But no matter how you may rationalize it, these are huge trumpet blaring warning signs that your friendship is crossing the line into emotional sex, and therefore cheating. To me it's a very simple mathematics equation: In truth, most infidelity occurs not because it is planned, but because people find themselves in situations where their emotions completely overwhelm and even surprise them. You're not having sex, you're just friends. Neuman added that communication needs to remain the priority throughout the healing process — and beyond. Don't hang on to the blame game. You can talk about anything. If you find yourself having sexual or romantic fantasies about your friend, you've crossed the line into emotional sex. Self-compassion is essential right away to get to the next level.
If both parties are willing to work on their issues, anything is fixable. The experts shared tips for coping with a cyber affair or flirtation, whether you're the culprit or the victim — and obviously, this advice has relevance for anyone dealing with infidelity of any kind: Emotional sex can be even more enthralling than physical sex, and it can cause the same havoc, mistrust and betrayal in a relationship as sexual infidelity, often leading to a break-up. Therapy is usually needed to address the problem and its fallout. Only then can you bring stable footing to your relationship and start infusing it with the love, attention, appreciation, and affection you and your partner both deserve. Recognizing red flags Here are some signs your spouse could be cyber cheating, from Neuman: Your connection feels genuine and even life-sustaining. But no matter how you may rationalize it, these are huge trumpet blaring warning signs that your friendship is crossing the line into emotional sex, and therefore cheating. How do you solve trauma? This is especially true of women who produce higher levels of oxytocin -- the bonding hormone that enhances the feeling of having found your "soul mate" connection. Digital devices need to move into public areas of the house, with both partners having full access to the content therein. You feel more alive than you have in a long time. A platonic friendship doesn't have elements of sexual chemistry or attraction. If you're having intimate talks and sharing things you should only be sharing with your primary partner, or you're sending late night 'just thinking of you' flirty texts, you're not having just an innocent friendship. Neuman added that communication needs to remain the priority throughout the healing process — and beyond. Before you are tempted to do something risky -- like leave your stable, good relationship for your exciting emotional lover -- it's important to examine what's really going on. Thanks to smartphones and the Internet, your love "fix" is never far away. Friendship becomes emotional sex when the feel-good brain chemicals and hormones that are released when even thinking about that person take over. While people trapped in troubled marriages are more vulnerable to infidelity, I've discovered that a surprising number of people in seemingly solid relationships also respond to the novelty of new love and end up getting swept away by an affair. You have to understand what the person went through and give them the opportunity to let it go. But in today's technology-driven world, meeting, staying connected, and getting intimate has never been easier or more dangerous. Have compassion for yourself, said relationship expert Stacey Martino loveandpassioncoach. Biochemical research has shown that the effect of these love chemicals is twofold: Pretty soon, you find yourself glowing every time you spend time with this person. Be accountable for your actions. You tell yourself it's ok because you're not really cheating, you're just chatting.
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